I’m in the midst of a massive going-through-my-papers, if-I-can’t-die-famous-at-least-I-can-die-without-20-year-old-paystubs PROJECT.

So far, I have shredded 8 pounds of paper, and recycled almost as much, a turn of events as deeply satisfying as anything outside of the realms of sex and chocolate can be.

Today I’ve found several funny things, including:

1. A “Blue Bulletin” from Andover. This was a souvenir of the daily announcements sheet from my high school. My then-boyfriend gave it to me, because my name was on the infirmary list for that day.

Besides the desperate calls for new members of the Physics and Debate Clubs (“New members welcome. Food!”), I liked the announcement for computer classes:

LEARN HOW TO WORD PROCESS ON THE APPLE IIe! Any student who has a major paper due this term and who would like to learn more about the features of AppleWorks is urged to attend. 

Even then, Apple had only a loose understanding of the rules of capitalization.

2. A math test from Senior year in high school. First question:

f(x) = 1/x2, g(x) = 0 , x = 1, x = 4

Apparently, I once understood exactly what this meant.

3. On a 3 x 5 notecard:

“But here in New York, we have something we think about as much as romantic love. Which is real estate.”

This whole experience is like a guided tour of my brain from the past 15 years.